|
Post by sanak on Apr 28, 2005 8:58:46 GMT -5
The old squirrel waited inside the small room. If they wanted the location to the island of teh samuari they would have to come quickly. He was already falling asleep in the old chair, he sat there, in the Redwall abbeys gatehouse waiting for soemone to come. They would come, someone would. Someone with the markings of a samurai.
|
|
|
Post by LordStripetail on Apr 29, 2005 10:04:34 GMT -5
Stripetail walked through the door. "Hello?' he called out. "Is anybody here?" Lord stripetail
|
|
|
Post by sanak on Apr 30, 2005 3:48:32 GMT -5
OOC: OK, first theres a few things you can improve, one liners like that make threads more boring than bank clercks. Describe your surrundings, your thoughts your fellings, the way you move. How you look. Do these things and you get a realy good post. why did you come to teh Redwall abbey gatehouse in the first place. Why are you in Redwall anyway.
|
|
|
Post by coconutpenguin on Apr 30, 2005 15:28:09 GMT -5
OOC: Watch it, Sanak, if he becomes a mod then he can pick on you all he wants. CP
|
|
|
Post by sanak on May 1, 2005 8:20:55 GMT -5
OOC: He can, but whats wrong with helping people improve their posts. I´ve been in sites where oneliners are phorbiden (sp).
|
|
|
Post by LordStripetail on May 2, 2005 13:09:56 GMT -5
ooc:Well, the fact is that I couldn't think of much to say at the moment. Usually I've pretty good at adding detail, but not that time BIc: Stripetail looked around at the dusty room. His entrance had kicked up some of the dust on the floor and it mafde him sneeze. Stripetail was a very imposing figure. He was a very large squirrell, with sharp eyes. On his back he wore a staff, which had a rose crystal embedded in it. This was a magical staff, with it he could do incredible things. He also wore a sword, which he kept hidden. He had infused it with magic, so that it would glow when vermin were nearby. But he rarely used it, he relied mainly on his staff for protection.He had traveled these lands for many seasons now, they were far different than the lands he had grown up in. Foxes stoats and wolves were respected creatures in his homeland, here they were derided as vermin and greatly feared by peaceful creatures. He did not fear them at all, but they feared him greatly and usually would leave the areas alone that he was visiting, they did not want to face his wrath.He had come to the abbey to rest, and he had come to the gatehouse purely out of curiousity. He called out again. "Hello?" (Is that better Sanak? Lord Stripetail
|
|
|
Post by coconutpenguin on May 3, 2005 17:43:21 GMT -5
OOC: It had better be good enough. My english teacher couldn't write better than that! ;D CP PS- Sorry I haven't been on in 4ever, I went to my grandma's on sunday and my softball game last night went for over 3 hours... I mean, gosh, it's only 7 innings!!!!
|
|
|
Post by LordStripetail on May 3, 2005 17:46:50 GMT -5
(must have been a high-scoring game)
|
|
|
Post by coconutpenguin on May 3, 2005 19:58:23 GMT -5
Yes we tied 15-15. ;D There was, however, some confusion about the final call. My friend tried to slide home and we had 2 stupid high-schoolers reffing so they really didn't know if we got it or not, so we might've won. Oh well...
|
|
|
Post by LordStripetail on May 4, 2005 8:59:07 GMT -5
OOC:So your friend got called out at home. darn. When I was in little league baseball, my team won the league championship, and played an all-star team made up of players from around the league. We were down 6 in the botttom of the last inning, but we rallied, scored 3 runs and loaded the bases with two outs. Guess who was up to bat? Yours truly. Now I had not done well that year, I had only gotten two hits the whole year. I'm right-handed, but I usually pull the ball into right field. So anyway I'm up, and the pitcher threw a ball that hung over the plate. I Stepped in front of the plate and hacked away. The ball flew down the right field line heading just inside the foul pole. The wind that night was pretty strong and it had blown several balls over our heads. Well, the wind carried the ball and it started to curve slightly, I was standing there watching the ball in flight. I called out "Hit the pole! Hit the pole!" And it did, hitting the edge of the foul pole and bouncing off to the side. I Went nuts, and ran around the bases with my hands in the air, I hadn't hit a home run all season i hadn't even come close. But As I Rounded third and the third base coach patted me on the back, tears began to run down my face. my Teammates were all waiting for me at home plate. I Jumped into the air and touched home, and they mobbed me. We had won 15-14. They carried me on thier shoulders into the dugout, and i waved to the crowd. After they had let me down, we came out to shake hands with the other team. I knew many of the other players, including the pitcher I had homered off of. When I shook his hand, He said to me. "How in the heck did you hit that one out? I put the pitch right where I wanted it. You were way out in front of it, the ball should have gone foul by 10 feet. How did you hit it?" Just lucky " I said. He shook his head and went on down the line. LOrd Stripetail
|
|
|
Post by LordStripetail on May 4, 2005 13:59:05 GMT -5
BIC: Stripetail looked around and saw the old squirrell sitting in the chair. He looked like he was asleep, but Strripetail tapped him on the shoulder to be sure. The old squirrell opened his eyes and looked at Stripetail. ""Er.. Hello there. I'm sorry to wake you, sir, I didn't mean to.' Lord Stripetail
|
|
|
Post by sanak on May 5, 2005 6:52:24 GMT -5
Naraio turned to see the squirrel, an impressive figure but was somehow made look inferiour in some way to the half asleep squirrel whose paw was on a katana next to him. He ahd heared the squirrel come and, because of long years of habit, his paw had goen to the hilt of the katana instantly. He felt energy come into him through the sword. With a groan he stood up and examined the newcomer more closely. Now that he was standing it was easy to see that he had a long black skirt, and a robe. The tipe of dress a samurai would wear when he was not fighting or at a speacial ocasion.
He continued to examine the squirrel that had just come in for a few minutes then sat down again. His movements were forced and slow. His eyes were a diferent matter altogether. They were green, fast and inteligent looking. Telling you everything there was to know about the old squirrel, and yet it betraid nothing about him.
" Come on, sit down. I suppose you just barged in here by accident. We'll, heres knews fore you. You'r going to stay till you can tell me waht kind of warrior bears a sword like mine."
He indicated to his katana with its blue handle. His eyes were still studing the younger squirrel.
OOC: In your posts you tell everything in one go, much better go about more slowly. And it's more like a lsit of facts. Show, don't tell. For example, when you said about teh sword you can go like thid, * As he walked, a gust of wind blew his cloak back and there was a flash of the sun rays reflecting off a blade.* You see, like that you say theres a sword there but not as if it was alist of facts. Anotehr point, you can also use the edit thing at the top of a post so you can alter your post. Don't change the post, just keep that in mind for the next post.
|
|
|
Post by LordStripetail on May 5, 2005 8:05:34 GMT -5
Stripetail looked at the strange sword. He had heard stories about such swords. and the strange creatures who wielded them. "You're a samurai", He said quietly. "I've heard stories about samarai while I trained at Sowarkard abbey, but I never really believed them." This was true, he had been far too busy training in the ways of magic to worry about stories of samurai. Stripetail sat down and examined the older squirrell closely. Lord Stripetail
|
|
|
Post by coconutpenguin on May 5, 2005 17:25:45 GMT -5
OOC: sanak, just CHILL! BTW, sweet story stripey. wish i could do that. Except I don't stink like you did. LOL CP
|
|
|
Post by LordStripetail on May 5, 2005 17:27:39 GMT -5
Sure , rub in the fact that I only got 3 hits all year I can take it. LOrd Stripetail
|
|